Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already – C.S. Lewis

Very often, the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That’s a quote by one of my favorite authors, CS Lewis. And I really wanted to kind of start my blog off with that quote, because it really speaks to a lot of what I do in my work and kind of it gets at the essence of, of my work as a therapist. What I mean by that is, people come into me every day, and they’re either trying to become something or overcome something. Oftentimes, this involves developing some kind of quality that they want or desire, because they their thinking will help their lives or help them overcome something. And so I spend a lot of my time helping people to identify what those qualities are, and really develop strategies or ways to, to develop or have that quality. And what I love about this quote is, it sounds really simple, like just start acting like you haven’t. And it really is that simple. But what I’ve learned is that what can be simple in theory, or in discussion can be a little more complex in its application. There is a author who I really like, who I read something a few months ago, his name is Bruce Haven. And he talked about the fact that oftentimes, we go through, when we’re learning something, we go through a period of simplicity, like we learned something, and it’s kind of it’s kind of straightforward, and we learn about it. And then when we try and apply the concept, we realize that sometimes it’s a little more complex. And so sometimes we get stuck in the simple part where we don’t really appreciate how complex or calm steps can be, where we kind of get stuck in the complexity. Whereas we are thinking, Oh, my gosh, how am I going to make this work? And this is a perfect concept for this for this quote is that, it seems simple at first, right? Oh, if you want to be something, be that person. But if you really think about it, if you’re trying to develop quality, if you really reflect on it, and try and implement it, you quickly come to discover that it’s a little more complex. And so what Bruce Heyman recommends is that we recognize that there’s something called simplicity beyond the complexity. And how when I take that to mean is, we have this complexity, that something that’s hard, but just trying to do it, the application in this case can be quite simple. The development or the patience to make it happen is a complex part. So my challenge for you is to identify that person you want to become identify the qualities of that person you want to become. And then try as an experiment to be that person or have that quality. So if you want to be more outgoing, even though it may kill you inside, go out there and just meet and greet people. If you want to be a kinder person, and or whatever quality you may have, identify what that involves. And go forward and act like you already have it. start behaving as if you had it already. Go out. Be the best version of yourself. We’ll talk soon